I have been trying to world my feelings right now, and the only thing that can come out is scared. I am scared of what people think. I am scared of what the may say, of what they may do, of how they might treat me if I fully lived my life in the gospel and really tried to show my love for my Savior.
Every time I give someone advice about this I say, why do you care, what are the reasons, and oh my goodness have I been a hypocrite. I think the reasons that I am so scared personally, is because I want to fit it. I want to be liked, to have it all, the boys, the friends, everything that comes along with being popular. I don't want to stand out as that girl, that freak that talks about Jesus all the time, the one that can't have a good time or let loose. The pressure that I feel that society puts on me is unbearable. But, by no means do I think people do this on purpose. I think it comes with all of the worldly things being poured out on us daily, the images we see, what is perceived as cool. I have gotten so caught up in it all, yet I still feel this undeniable defensiveness of Jesus and love and religion and everything it stands for. It makes me feel like there is still hope for me to find him again, and feel his love.
Today in my bible study class, these boys were paralleling these bible characters to terrorists, and they kept shouting Allahu Akbar, which means god is greatest in Arabic. The boys were laughing because that is what ISIS yells. This total disrespect of humanity, of peoples lives and experiences made me sick, and I wanted to yell out a string of shaming and mean comments, but I knew that that is what Satan wanted me to do. I cannot get over the fact that people are sacrificing their lives and being persecuted just for their faith, for everything that they believe in, and yet these boys have the audacity to make fun of them? They are just so ignorant and unknowing. Maybe this affects me so much because I have lived overseas, and seen firsthand the love and compassion that Islam is based on. These people, these majority of people are some of the kindest I have ever met, and they are ten times the person that those boys are. I hate how people take Islamic extremists, the 15%, and show that as what all Muslims are, they let that 15% represent the 75% that are there. My grandfather was born Muslim, and he is one of the kindest and most compassionate men I know. I have grown up watching him lend money to all those that ask, inviting people off the street to join them for dinner, seen him give everything he has to someone if they ask for it.
It makes me so upset to see these people judging others. But then, I think of how often I judge people on a daily basis. How I walk down the halls of my school, calling girls sluts in my head if their skirt is too short, calling people weird if they are different to me, and it makes me sick all over again because then I realize that I am the one judging. This judgment, this judgement, is the thing that makes people feel the pressure that I am feeling. This is the pressure that drives people to cutting, suicide, and eating disorders.
My new goal is to not judge people. To lift people up. Even if i can only make one persons day, that's enough. Its enough for me to make one person happy because that is one less person feeling this weight. I want to be able to walk down the hallways of my school, and love every person I see, no matter if it was that boy who broke my heart or that girl who is dating the guy I like. I want to be able to radiate joy, I want people to be able to see my happiness in my eyes, and be drawn to me.
So my challenge to you, to anyone who may be reading this (if anyone does), is to be kind. Just like that Cinderella story, have courage and be kind. Live your faith. Be kind to all those who walk in and out of your life whether they be stomping, or dancing through. You never know what someone may be going through.
Be kind,
Amirah
(I just watched an amazing devotional that shed some light on judgement. This girl phrased it in a new way. God created me and you, and if I am judging you, I am judging God. AHHH that makes me take it soo much more seriously.)
Every time I give someone advice about this I say, why do you care, what are the reasons, and oh my goodness have I been a hypocrite. I think the reasons that I am so scared personally, is because I want to fit it. I want to be liked, to have it all, the boys, the friends, everything that comes along with being popular. I don't want to stand out as that girl, that freak that talks about Jesus all the time, the one that can't have a good time or let loose. The pressure that I feel that society puts on me is unbearable. But, by no means do I think people do this on purpose. I think it comes with all of the worldly things being poured out on us daily, the images we see, what is perceived as cool. I have gotten so caught up in it all, yet I still feel this undeniable defensiveness of Jesus and love and religion and everything it stands for. It makes me feel like there is still hope for me to find him again, and feel his love.
Today in my bible study class, these boys were paralleling these bible characters to terrorists, and they kept shouting Allahu Akbar, which means god is greatest in Arabic. The boys were laughing because that is what ISIS yells. This total disrespect of humanity, of peoples lives and experiences made me sick, and I wanted to yell out a string of shaming and mean comments, but I knew that that is what Satan wanted me to do. I cannot get over the fact that people are sacrificing their lives and being persecuted just for their faith, for everything that they believe in, and yet these boys have the audacity to make fun of them? They are just so ignorant and unknowing. Maybe this affects me so much because I have lived overseas, and seen firsthand the love and compassion that Islam is based on. These people, these majority of people are some of the kindest I have ever met, and they are ten times the person that those boys are. I hate how people take Islamic extremists, the 15%, and show that as what all Muslims are, they let that 15% represent the 75% that are there. My grandfather was born Muslim, and he is one of the kindest and most compassionate men I know. I have grown up watching him lend money to all those that ask, inviting people off the street to join them for dinner, seen him give everything he has to someone if they ask for it.
It makes me so upset to see these people judging others. But then, I think of how often I judge people on a daily basis. How I walk down the halls of my school, calling girls sluts in my head if their skirt is too short, calling people weird if they are different to me, and it makes me sick all over again because then I realize that I am the one judging. This judgment, this judgement, is the thing that makes people feel the pressure that I am feeling. This is the pressure that drives people to cutting, suicide, and eating disorders.
My new goal is to not judge people. To lift people up. Even if i can only make one persons day, that's enough. Its enough for me to make one person happy because that is one less person feeling this weight. I want to be able to walk down the hallways of my school, and love every person I see, no matter if it was that boy who broke my heart or that girl who is dating the guy I like. I want to be able to radiate joy, I want people to be able to see my happiness in my eyes, and be drawn to me.
So my challenge to you, to anyone who may be reading this (if anyone does), is to be kind. Just like that Cinderella story, have courage and be kind. Live your faith. Be kind to all those who walk in and out of your life whether they be stomping, or dancing through. You never know what someone may be going through.
Be kind,
Amirah
(I just watched an amazing devotional that shed some light on judgement. This girl phrased it in a new way. God created me and you, and if I am judging you, I am judging God. AHHH that makes me take it soo much more seriously.)
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