There's something I struggle with right now. I have a problem that I haven't really accepted until now. I didn't think it was serious before, and I think I have to solve the problem before I can truly be better. I won't tell the problem, but I can tell you it has to do with messing up and making mistakes. As I'm realizing this is a prob;em, I also realize the root is not accepting and loving myself. I seem to think that if i mess up, its all over. Recently I've been watching this youtuber that has struggled with this same problem, and almost completely overcome it. Actually, she made me realize that that problem could even be a problem. Its this never ending cycle of expecting perfection out of myself, and then I make one mistake, go overboard, and then beat myself up afterwards.
What I'm trying to think of is Jesus. His atonement, and how I don't have to worry about my flaws, because he will save me. Not only that, but he takes away the sting of sin. If I am struggling, he will be there to pick me up. If I make a mistake, I only need pray to feel his love and acceptance.
2 Kings 13:23

"But the LORD was gracious to them and had compassion on them and turned to them because of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them or cast them from His presence until now."

Here in 2 Kings the lord tells that he will show us his compassion and love, and that he WILL NOT CAST US OUT. Wow. He will accept me as I am. If i mess, he won't just leave me like often people in this earth life will. His love is eternal and unconditional.

My problem won't go away until I start accepting it and working on it. I keep thinking that my problem is just a surface thing, only skin deep, but its so much more. The root is not about worldly things, this is me. Not accepting myself, and devaluing myself. I have no faith in myself, and that starts with god. I am going to mess up, over and over. The trick is not being upset and giving up. The trick is to keep going and not feel guilty. I wish I could write all I feel, all about the problem, but its too personal right now, too fresh. 

Goal of this week:

Don't get distracted by those things of little importance. Stay close to the Lord. Accept him, he's already accepted me. Keep vigilant on laundry, working out, homework, keeping my room tidy, and blogging. Haha not good at those things. STOP PROCRASTINATING.

SIDENOTE: I am currently talking to my friend about a trial in his life and gave him some advice. I'm realizing that I need to practice what I preach. I get so caught up the small things that may suck or the bad things that came from an event, but I'm forgetting the good things. The small little blessings and tender mercies.